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Some recent and..semi recent pics...over the last few years anyway lol [30 May 2011|10:30pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]


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WOW it's been a long time [30 May 2011|10:03pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

ok so here is a little catch up...

I'm an esthetician now, and I am currently back in school for massage therapy and working in a Japanese themed spa. I ended up going straight and I've been with my boyfriend Josh for four years now. I cut all my hair off and dyed it many times...it's currently orange. I still like to wear lots of colors especially considering my uniform in both work and school is all black :(

I'm super excited for summer, me and my daddy started a garden and we're growing all kinds of stuff. And this summer we are going on a roadtrip across the country to visit my aunt :D !!!

Soooooo if anyone is even reading this...what have you been up to???

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havent been on here in a while [17 Jun 2010|01:23pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

who needs drugs when you can dream like this?

i was talking to someone about god.. and i asked him who he was and he said he was sent by god..and he was eating a sandwich.. and i said how do I know you were sent by god maybe I'm just making you up..and he laughed at me.
then we walked..or I walked..I'm not sure. and i was on a raft in our pool..but the pool expanded and the water darkened.. and i was scared. I kept trying to find the edge so i could get out but I couldnt. I looked over and I saw the edge and I saw our front yard and all these biker looking people started pulling up in our driveway and walking into our house.
I found the edge of the pool and rolled off the raft onto the concrete.. there was thick white smoke that looked like clouds and it was warm to the touch all around. I ran through it to the pool gate and escaped.
inside I found out that these people were in a gang and they wanted me to join, so I did. because they were a good gang. my first task was to retreive something..I dont know what.
I had to go to the bathroom to get it. i tried climbing the shower curtain but it fell. I had to climb the bathroom wall to the top of the bathtub to find this secret hidden shelf. Up there, I found so many things that I had forgotten about. An old picture of me and my cat, an old clown I had when I was little that turned its head around and sang "toy land" when you wound him up. I found this old statue that Josh and I saw in Jim Thorpe years ago of a woman with leaves all around her head. I smelled cinnnamon,.. and I wanted to know what was cooking.. I traveled downstairs..and it was quite a journey to get down these stairs and into the kitchen..and to the oven..where I couldnt figure out what it was so I started searching the cabinets for what was missing..but nothing was missing.

WHAT THE FUCK I have some weird dreams!

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we the sheeple [31 Mar 2008|09:47pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so how is everyone this fine day? Little update here on my life...

I quit both my jobs (eb games and auntie annes) and got a job at ruby tuesday as a hostess. I wanted to serve but he doesn't need servers :\
I like it there though, I like everyone there.
Joshy and I are doing well.
I really wanna move out.
umm yeah thats about it :)

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xposted in my myspace [30 Nov 2007|11:58am]
[ mood | determined ]

I really need to start making time for my friends. I just do NOT know how people do it. I dont even really hang out with the guys at work anymore. When I finally have a day off I just wanna chill..

And now I'm trying to pick up a second job at the bank, they're supposed to call me back to set up an interview. The bank should have the hours I need and then I can just work at gamestop like 4 or 5 nights out of the week or something like that. But that's if I even get the job.

I hang out with Caitlin every so often..she is definitely my best friend in the whole world. She has been there for me through EVERYTHING. and although she's got some really fucked up problems, so do I. Everybody does. lol

I think most of my friends in the past 10 years have only been around when they needed me, and as soon as I was no longer a necessity, I was dumped. Without any remorse at all. So I kind of have a twisted view on friendship. But Caitlin was even there for me for an entire fucking week and stayed up with me when I couldn't sleep and took care of me..even when I was sick and lost all that weight and kept throwing up for weeks and weeks.. she was there for me and didn't judge me. I love her. and this is all after I was a complete fuck toward her for almost a year.

but anyways.. I gotta go into work at 2 today. and then I get out at 7 so I don't know why I"m wasting the gas to get there..but whatever. I will definitely love to have two jobs again..not that the first time counted because it was the same job just two different stores, but to me, thats two! lol

and then I wonder if the guys at work really like me, because they don't invite me to go to justins to play video games anymore.. and I thnk the only reason I was invited hte first time was because I'm hot and tim liked me. I dont wanna just be the hot chick at work.. I want to be friends with all of them.. but then again I always jump to conclusions.

I need a jump to conclusions mat.

And then Tammy was my best friend for a while and we got our first job together and did everything together, and now she's in college going for what she's always wanted to do.. and here I am working at eb games.. getting nowhere in life. I wanna go back to school. and i'm going to.

I admire my hairdresser..LoL because she actually went out and startred her career and opened her own salon, and is doing very well. then she said she's thinking about opening up a barber shop, and three months later she did it! I wish I had that kind of drive..to just go out there and get what I want out of the world accomplished. But instead I just think...oh yeah, I'll go back to school in a year.. and then I'll be fine.. no. if you want something you need to go out there and fucking do it. If life's not making you happy, figure out what it is and CHANGE IT. it sounds so simple and I'm going to DO IT. GOD DAMNIT

oh and i LOVE Kathy Griffin. Fucking hysterical lady.

There was more I wanted to write but I can't remember now. God damn I just went on a fucking rampage with my words. They just kept comming.. o.o;

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poop [24 Oct 2007|11:51am]
[ mood | sad ]

I miss Josh ;.;

I should be going to the bank right now but I'm depressed lol I also have to go pick up the pictures we developed.. but it's just one of those days where I just wanna sit and do nothing :\

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I fell in love with you heart and soul.. [23 Oct 2007|11:00am]
[ mood | loved ]

<333Collapse )

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vacation <3 [23 Oct 2007|10:55am]
[ mood | loved ]

Joshy took me on vacation this weekend to Jim Thorpe PA near the poconos. It was amazing.. we took a train ride through the mountains as the colors of fall swirled around us.. we hiked up this mountain where three waterfalls lived and crashed against ancient rocks..

Ok I'm gonna stop being poetic.. LoL

but yeah we climbed up this montain and sat at the top and looked out over all the other mountains, and the changing colors of the trees.. Fall is definitely the best time to go. and the place we stayed was this quaint little country town FULL OF HIPPIES AND GAYS and it was AWESOME. I felt like I was home!

There was this one restaurant dedicated to alice in wonderland, and it was this little cafe.. and we sat at this cute little table and this guy played the guitar peacefully in the backround as we ate. And everyone in the town is all about conserving energy which is how I wish my family was..

and the hotel we stayed in was just someones home that they rented out to different people.. and you were free to come and go as you please and the beds were soo comfy ^^ <33 I loved everything.

it's amazing..you'd think something would go wrong..you'd think we'd fight or just..something wouldn't work out the way we wanted..but no. Everytime we go someplace everything is perfect..we've been so many places now and each time has been amazing and beautiful and romantic.. i love it..

*Dances* AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE PROTEST!!!! *^____^*

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OCT 27th [17 Oct 2007|11:48am]
[ mood | happy ]

all across the country people are marching in 11 cities for massive regional demonstrations against the war. I'm going to the one in Philly. It's on oct 27th there's going to be a concert/rally from 2-5 there will be speakers and entertainment THE ROOTS might even be there!

There is going to be a human chain from the VA hospital at 38th and woodland ave to independence mall. starting at 12:30 and also we will be marching from camden across the ben franklin bridge at 9:15 (that's where I'll be)

It's going to be HUGE! Who wants to march with me? Josh isn't coming and I'm trying to get my mom to come because I think she'd love it.. but I want to try to get as many people as I can! I'm handing out flyers and such at the college's trying to get people aware of this because I wouldn't even have known if I wasn't on the mailing list.

I'm going to this writing class tonight at the college hopefully someone will be interested. I'm gonna try work too.

But if anyone's interested let me know! and if you dont live near me, definitely check out the site there's probably one going on near you in which you should definitely attend! :P

the website is oct27.org if you'd like to learn more

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I feel the love [16 Oct 2007|12:36pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I think I am finding myself again.. and it is the most amazinly beautiful thing in the world..

The happiest time in my life was the first year I was with melissa, because I knew who I was and I was happy with myself and my life. But then for quite some time I've been waiting endlessly. But waiting time is not wasted time, somewhere in the universe is putting things in place for changes to happen. Everyone is excactly where they need to be to learn and grow.

at work yesterday (I am in love with these people..I believe I was put here to grow, this is where I need to be) this guy I work with gave me a book of daily meditations and one of them was all about waiting..

I am the leaf floating in the autumn breeze, letting life take me where it will.. for a while I've been waiting but I think I'm finding that thing I lost again.. I am so content and happy..and I can't stress about what I can't fix.. I just have to wait for the right time..

I am going to start meeting new people and getting my interests back instead of just totally depending on Josh for happiness because that is unfair to him.

Life is beautiful I knew that once but I forgot.. but now I'm awake again. I know who I am.

There's so much to say that I can't get out!
I LOVE MY MOM and my family and JOSH and my doggie and my cats...and GOD.. or whatever that is out there..

xposted to my myspace

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hough.. [15 Oct 2007|12:51pm]
[ mood | sad ]

;_; i miss josh..he's at work..I'm incredibly lonley.. i hate this schedule..we work complete opposite schedules.. it sucks..

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mah weekend.. [15 Oct 2007|10:47am]
[ mood | happy ]

Saturday we went to Josh's house and moved furniture for his mom and g-mom, and I got mad at him because I'm PMSing and I'm being a bitch. Then that night I realised how much I love him and I don't wanna lose him and I hurt his feelings ;-; and I felt bad..
the next day was amazing because we both realised how much it would suck if we broke up. I've never dated someone my family actually liked so it would be really hard for me because my whole family would be dissapointed..not to mention I would miss him..
but just the fact that like.. we're so young kind of makes me wonder if we should have waited. but I always base things on my past relationships and maybe I shouldn't because he is nothing like them.
like I fear that he is going to leave me for someone he finds better.. but he's happy with me so why would he even look?
so anyway, yesterday we unloaded two quarts of wood for this lady with my mom and i drove this big stick shift truck home which was hilarious. I only stalled once but I kept burning out lol or.. something.
then I watched bridge to terebithia with my mommy OH MY GOD what a wonderful movie!! I totally reccomend everyone watch it! it has a lot of life lessons in it but the ending is very sad..I cried.
and then we went with his dad his brother and Deb to Eastern State penn! <3 oohh myy godd it was amazing! the building itself was just..magnificant.. and then you had all these people dressed up scaring you.. which was cool, I would definitely love to be one of the actors that does that..
and we sat outside at this coffee shop while we waited and it was so nice..
and Josh and I are gonna go back for the daytime tour that tells you about the place..

and wednesday my manager is taking me to this writing class thing she goes to! ^_^ it's free it's a bunch of people get together and read stuff they've written and give eachother advice and opinions and stuff...however I have had a terrible writers block for almost 2 years now so I dunno...
she is awesome by the way..she's like, my new best friend lol even though she's like 8 years older than me. She really likes me too. I'm working at two different stores.. I love working with her. but I miss a few people back at the mall.. lol

ok I'm done writing my novel. have a lovley day all!

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some pictures I've collected [04 Oct 2007|12:18pm]
[ mood | sad ]

please comment ;_; i get no comments anymore

it takes only a little bit of history..to realise, how dangerous it is to think..that the people who run the country..
know what they're doingCollapse )

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I am more than a fish..I am more than a man! [04 Oct 2007|12:00pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Josh bought these new flannel sheets...ooomg they're so comfy.. however I slept two hours later than I normally do, causing me to be depressed and feel like I haven't accomplished anything. But I still have to scrub the shower and dust so I'll probably feel better..I'm so sleepy though..

maybe just one more cup of coffee..

oh and I went back to the game store and bought him the right video game..lol and it's really cute too I think he'll like it.

the end.

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I have to poop [03 Oct 2007|10:26am]
[ mood | awake ]

so yesterday was my nephews birthday..he's 8 and everyone was getting him baseballs and footballs and shit.. and he likes video games..so i figured i'd be the cool aunt and get him what he actually will play with..
so I get two games for nintendo DS..or so the sign said..so he excitedly opened my present to find...those aren't the right games! they're for GBA not for DS..and I'm like..but the fucking sign said it as for DS... so now I have to return them and I feel so terrible because he was soo excited..
and this isn't the first time I've done this, I remember once I brought him over a..gamecube I think it was.. and he was all excited watching us set it up..but I had no power cord.. so he couldn't play.. and he had to wait for me to buy a new one...BUT THAT WASNT MY FAULT BECAUSE MY PSYCHO EX GIRLFRIEND GAVE ME EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE CHORD AND I DIDN'T KNOW BECAUSE WELL.. I didnt check..I just assumed everything was there..lol
but that damn sign was very misleading and I'm going to have a word with them.. >.>

*sigh* I guess I'm just a bad aunt. -.-

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i want you [28 Sep 2007|08:28pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I am at this kids house drinking and playing halo 3..it's pretty cool I guess.. I wouldn't pay 60 bucks for it but whatever.
They're playing music.

I got a new job at eb games and I have a super huge crush on this one guy LoL its funny..I'm gonna love this job..but they only scheduled me 2 days so i hope they schedule me more..the end.

I really like this kid here he's really cool and funny and stuff...................the end..
I didnt even want to go out..
I am always the only girl.. it's becuase I'm a loser and I dont get along with women. which is why I'll like this job.


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feel the rain on your skin..no one else can feel it for you..lol [27 Sep 2007|08:25am]
[ mood | tired ]

Today I go to work, come home and go straight to my other job. No warcraft for me tonight ;.; I've been playing that fucking game like..insanely.

and no Joshy poo for me either..he's going to school while I work.. we're both gonna be tired tonight -.- and yesterday he had to wake up at 4:30 and go to work and then get his hand operated on and then go to school.. so he got home really late..he was so tired ;.; but he has the day off today so he can sleep.. and let his hand heal lol

well..off to work I go..

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some arts all multy colored till it goes all multi corporate then it only comes in green.. [24 Sep 2007|08:30am]
[ mood | tired ]

yesterday was my daddy's birthday.. I got him this old RPG we used to play for DOS.. but I think this one's for windows..
Josh has to go get his hand cut open today because the stupid doctor didn't get all the telephone pole out of his hand the last time and now it's all swollen..
and I got into a nest of deer ticks yesterday.. it looked like DIRT there were SO MANY.. >.<
and they're all just crawling up my legs.. I think there are probably still more they were so small but I got the majority off..
and I went to the good will and went shopping for new clothes for work becuase I GOT A NEW JOB ^_^ at EB games..I'm very excited..
soo only one more week at the diner! :P
I'm sleepy.. and I'm making a scrap book of Josh and me..but I gotta get the pics developed..


oh and I found this awesome shirt at the good will that says, "Women belong in the house" and in the back it says, "and the SENATE!"
hehe ^_^ i'm gay..lol

have a lovley day all!

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I just happen to like apples..and I am not afraid of snakes.. [18 Sep 2007|08:32am]
[ mood | bored ]

isnt it funny how you can love someone so much..but they dont love you the same way? or at least you dont Think they do..I've been like that with everyone I've dated..always wondering if they love me as much as I love them..
always saying.."you loved your ex more" or "you're going to leave me"
insecurity constantly nagging at me.. it's not fair to them..
I've been this way all my life..it was just never this..much.. and it's annoying

man I've been more obsessed with ani difranco than ever lately..

anyone hear about fox bleeping the anti-war remark made by..that chick that I cannot remember the name of at this current moment. >.o

I feel like shit and I dont wanna go to work..I wanna stay home and sleep in my nice warm bed...
I have an interview at 4 today though ^_^

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impeachbush.org [18 Sep 2007|08:27am]
[ mood | angry ]

It's time to stop talking about it..and actually DO SOMETHING...these people are doing something.. writing a simple letter is not that hard.

September 15: 100,000 march for impeachment, against the war
Keep the pressure on! Write a letter to Congress demanding impeachment!

..> ..>

On Saturday, nearly 100,000 people from all walks of life, young and old, of all nationalities and creeds, marched together, united by a single purpose, determined to end the war. The impeachment movement was a huge part of this demonstration and the call for impeachment resounded from the White House to the Capitol. People took buses, trains, vans, and planes from all over the country to make it to Washington DC for the March, and it was reflected in the massive turnout.

The protest included one of the anti-war movement's largest collective acts of civil disobedience. Around 5,000 people laid down in mass as part of a dramatic die-in at the foot of the Capitol steps to symbolize all those lives that have been lost in this destructive war. Another two hundred were arrested when they tried to take an anti-war message to the Congress and were stopped by riot police.

As those that were in attendance on Saturday know: the message of impeachment was everywhere. There were impeachment banners, signs, t-shirts, buttons everywhere you looked.

In his speech at the rally at the White House, Ramsey Clark called for a three-month push for Congress to introduce Articles of Impeachment. He called on all impeachment supporters to rededicate themselves to the cause. Congressional representatives don't have the right to take impeachment off the table. The Constitution -- of, by and for the people -- puts impeachment on the table out of legal necessity. Now it is the time for the people to exercise that right.(Bush has already taken so many of ours away..)

Following Ramsey Clark's call, ImpeachBush.org is initiating the fall campaign to flood Congress with the demand for Impeachment. After Saturday's success, we do not want to wait or waste even a day. Impeachment supporters in every state are organizing to target their local representatives in their home towns and in Washington.

You can take an immediate step now. Congress has returned from vacationing while more and more soldiers and Iraqis have died in this criminal war. Now they are planning to capitulate once again and fund this war with no end in sight. Tell them vote No on war funding, vote Yes on impeachment. ImpeachBush.org has set up an easy-to-use mechanism for impeachment supporters to write a letter to their Congressional representatives and instruct them in no uncertain terms to follow their constitutional obligations. Now is the time to introduce articles of impeachment.

Send a message to your representative, and by doing so, send a message to Bush and all the presidents to come. A war of aggression is the supreme violation of international law, and war crimes will not go unpunished.

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